新東方名師在線點評考研英語作文第二期點評

　　第二期題目：2004年考研英語作文真題

　　shuclin發(fā)表日期：2007-01-05 20:03:03第2樓

　　As is shown vividly in the cartoon, a young man is running to the ending point, which is also a starting point, in a running race. At first, I think that the ending or starting point may be wrongly marked in the picture. However, after further thinking, I find that there are some deeper meanings in it.

　　Obviously, the subject of the drawing indicates that "the ending point is also a new beginning point". Indeed, nowadays with the rapid development of the economy, we may face various social pressure or difficulties. Under these circumstances, the completion of one thing is just the beginning of another. So we should realize that many things are connected with each other. What's more, we should keep on learning, which is beneficial to us.

　　A specific example is our graduates, who will leave school. Campus life is going to end but the social life is just about to begin. So keeping a calm attitude towards the graduation is good for our development in the future. That is to say, learning knowledge has no ending point for ever.

　　本文在語言上存在一些問題，在盡量保存原文信息的基礎(chǔ)上，改了一些單詞和句子。原文中有“The obtaining of one knowledge if the preparation for learning another new knowledge.”這句話原來在二段末，不能表達準確的含義，而且句子結(jié)構(gòu)混亂。這說明作者意識到了句型結(jié)構(gòu)變化的重要性，而是不能做到這一點。

　　文章篇幅，段落的分布都可以，但是這篇文章暴露了很多考生做得不夠的地方：第一段沒有較好描述圖表，二段三段分析存在跳躍，所以內(nèi)容含義上稍微欠缺點。建議作者在寫作前先花點時間理清所寫文章的大體脈絡(luò)，避免想到哪里就寫到哪里。

　?。簂eoibb發(fā)表日期：2007-01-06 10:33:17第 7 樓

　　There has been a heated discussion about a picture in the newspaper. As is vividly shown above, on the playground runs a young man, rushing to the final, which is also marked as another start line. Tired as he is, he has to continue his travel optimistically. Just as the old Arab proverb says, destination means another start point.

　　Simple as the picture is, the symbolic meaning behind the pictures is as deep as the ocean. The running situation is naturally associated with our real life. Whenever we have achieve a goal or the like, should we just stop pursuing the further goal and enjoy the happiness of success or be savage again for the next terminal? -- A question deserves our more attention.

　　Among all the touching facts relating to running that I have heard of, noticed or experienced, the most impressive one is Liuxiang, the gold medal winner in Olympic Games, 2004. Had he stopped practice only after he had won a regional championship, he would not have been the world super star. Turn our attention to the business field. According to a survey, 70% of the companies merged by bigger ones have once been overjoyed with their small profits and unaware of the danger posed by more ambitious rivals. In sum, keeping making progress should be the right attitude toward life and work for everybody and even for a country.

　　本文除了個別地方需做改進外，基本上已經(jīng)達到了語言流暢，意思明確，舉例得當?shù)乃健Ｔ?a href='http://www.smilerich.cn/' target='_blank'>考研作文中，這算是一篇不錯的文章。

　　建議考生把上面兩篇文章聯(lián)系起來看，仔細品味兩篇文章給人的不同感覺，在對比中尋找提高的方向。